As a Highly Sensitive Person, you may notice that you put other people’s needs before your own.
Have you stopped to consider why you do that?
Do you like that you do that?
Does it bother you that you do that?
These are good questions to ask yourself as you explore your habits, thoughts, patterns, behaviors, and actions.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. Be kind to yourself. This is a behavior you may have learned early on in childhood. If there was addiction, mental illness, medical illness, or instability in your family, you may have learned to keep the peace. You may have tried to make the unhappy person happy in the only way you knew how.
Somewhere along the way, you may have given up your happiness at the expense of someone else’s. You may have given away your power without even realizing it — and you may still be doing that today.
This is not about blaming anyone in your family. It’s about recognizing a behavior, action, or thought pattern that is no longer serving you.
It’s time for a change — so you can live the life you want to live, with healthy relationships with others and with yourself.
If you were the peacekeeper in your family, I want to give you a big hug right now and say, “Thank you.” Thank you for helping the situation in the only way you knew how.
And now… let’s gently put the focus back on you.
Let’s learn to give yourself some self-love.
Recalibrate your nervous system. Rewire the patterns in your brain. Begin giving to yourself what you have been giving to everyone else.
You deserve it, dear one.
You are precious.
You are loved.
You are seen — whether you know it or not.
And if you are reading this, I see you.
I see your pain.
I see the things you saw that you should not have had to see at such a young age.
You survived.
Now, let’s help you thrive.
To thrive, turn your attention inward. Go deep inside your heart — to your core essence where no one else goes but you.
It may be a place you haven’t visited in a long time.
It may be a place you’ve never fully allowed yourself to go.
Or maybe it’s somewhere you quietly visit every day.
Your core essence belongs to you. No one can take it away from you.
Let me say that again:
No one can take away your core essence. It belongs to you and only you.
You are a human being born onto this planet we call Earth. And sometimes, as sensitive souls, the depth of what we see and feel can make it hard to be here.
As an HSP, you feel more deeply than the average person. That is not a fault. It is not a mental health disorder. It is not neurodivergence. It is a personality trait you were born with.
It is a gift — and sometimes it feels like a wound.
Love the part of you that can feel so many things at once.
And learn to manage what you feel so you don’t become overwhelmed or overstimulated.
I know how that feels. I’ve been taken down many times by life’s circumstances.
But I’ve also learned how to get back up.
It’s like falling off a horse and climbing back into the saddle. Maybe once. Maybe twice. Maybe more times than you care to count.
Falling off the horse is not defeat.
It is an invitation to learn who you are at your core.
It teaches humility.
Justice.
Indignation.
Sobriety.
Love.
Peace.
Joy.
And while you are learning who you are, remember this: you are allowed to have fun along the way.
Life does not have to be a constant rollercoaster. There can be good times woven in with the hard times.
Here are a few gentle ways to bring more joy into your life:
Pick something fun to do just for you. It doesn’t have to involve money or other people.
Take pictures of flowers on a walk.
Start a hobby you’ve been curious about for years.
Take a class — in person or online.
Learn to play guitar.
Build a puzzle.
Color in a coloring book.
Visit a used bookstore and buy books, magazines, or cookbooks to cut out pictures and words to make a collage or word journal.
Read a long classic you never thought you would tackle — like Moby-Dick.
Go to an art museum, a gallery, a coffee shop, a thrift store, or a vintage shop.
Go rock hunting.
Collect little treasures on your walks and keep them in a special box.
To love yourself is to tell yourself:
You are worth loving.
You are worth spending time with.
You are one of a kind.
I see you. And I see your worth.
If you would like to learn more about being a Highly Sensitive Person, feel free to email me at lisa@lisalewiscounseling.com.
Be well — and bye for now. 🤍
